I went through the Starbucks drive-thru a couple of weeks ago while wearing my Central Perk t-shirt. The barista working the window complimented me on my shirt, so I jokingly asked him if he was around for the original run of Friends or if he’s only ever seen it on Netflix. I immediately regretted this line of questioning, because he laughed long and hard, and then said, “OF COURSE only on Netflix! I’m only SEVENTEEN. But that’s the great thing about Netflix — you can catch up on all of those great classic shows!” HOW DARE YOU, YOUNG MAN. Making me feel old before I’ve even had my coffee! I was relaying all of this to Mike later, with what I’m sure was an extremely indignant tone in my voice, when he pointed out to me that the barista wouldn’t have even been born when the first episode aired. So. I guess this is it, guys. Do I need to buy a Buick?
I recently purchased “anti-fatigue” moisturizer and “anti-aging” under eye serum. I assure you this was completely unrelated to my interaction with the barista. (Or was it?) (It was not.) It turns out — and I know this will shock you, as it shocked me — that these are not magic products and while the appearance of my skin might be about 10% less fatigued, my actual self is not any more energetic. This is outrageous. I assume somewhere on the package it says in very fine print, “when used in conjunction with exercise and kale smoothies and 8 hours of sleep per night and not having small children.”