Our house hasn’t sold yet, but Mike inadvertently de-activated my Patent Pending Horrifying Spider Containment System (i.e. he opened the window without first checking to see if there was a horrifying spider between the window and the screen) and now there is a horrifying spider loose somewhere in our house, so it is a good thing we are already planning to move.
If you know of anyone looking to buy a house, or if you yourself would like to buy a house, or if you would just like to see what our house looks like when all of our clutter and personal items are stashed in drawers and/or in Rubbermaid bins in a friend’s basement, please feel free to take the virtual tour, as long as you promise to come back here and leave a comment saying how lovely it is and how likely it is that someone will purchase it immediately (after a 4-way bidding war, and for a price that borders on “outrageously high”).
If you are ever perusing the Old Navy website, and you think to yourself, “Self, I know those teal velour pants are on sale for $5, indicating that perhaps they are not in fact the world’s sexiest pants, but really, just how ridiculous could one pair of pants BE?” you should take care to remember this exact moment, when I grab your shoulders and pull you very close and tell you the answer is EXTREMELY RIDICULOUS. They are velour pants! In a shade that can only accurately be described as “aggressively turquoise”! Why would anyone BUY something like that? (And yet! I took them out of the wrapper, put them on my body, looked in the mirror, died from the sight, and LEFT THEM ON. They are worth $5 for the entertainment value alone.)
I recently saw a new candy product, the package of which advertised that it was a) sour, b) fruit-flavoured, and c) with a “cooling sensation”. I am baffled. Why … would anyone WANT that? I would imagine that in terms of flavour combination preferences amongst the candy-loving public, the overlap area in the Venn diagram of minty, fruity, and sour would be very small indeed.
A couple of months ago, Mike and I began tentatively discussing the possibility of maybe, potentially buying a new house, in the distant future, since our the number of bedrooms in our current house is one short if we plan to someday expand our family. We thought maybe we should start having a look around, because it might take us a very long time to find the house we were looking for. My birthday was last weekend, and instead of doing what I had originally planned (lounging around in my pajamas, reading a magazine, eating birthday cake, maybe taking a long bath) we ended up looking at a couple of houses. We fell head over heels with one of them, and ended up making an offer that night, which means I have to admit once and for all that we are the sort of people who impulse purchase a house, since we did that with our first house. Although that has worked out very well for us (it’s a lovely home on a quiet cul de sac, corner lot, new dishwasher — anyone want to buy it?) I will admit I’m a little uneasy with being the sort of people who basically buy the house equivalent of the Snickers bar by the cash register at the grocery store, assuming the Snickers bar was the right size, with beautiful upgrades and hardwood floors and the perfect spot for my office, and the grocery store was really, really motivated to sell the Snickers bar. Or maybe we bought the house equivalent of the puppy at the pet store that you just want to hold, but not buy, because you don’t really NEED a puppy right now, maybe in a year, when the timing is right? (more…)