A couple of days ago, I came across an article online that was so singularly horrifying I had to share it via Google Reader. I’ll link to it here, but the gist of the article (for those who can’t be bothered to click, since I really can’t blame you, who has time to actually CLICK things in this modern world) is that there are people out there, presumably mad scientists with stained lab coats and crazy hair, injecting the DNA of one animal into the DNA of another, giving us the animal equivalent of the plumcot, only twice as scary and at least three times more likely to kill you in your sleep. The article lists beefalos, wholphins, and zorses as a few examples, but the one that really made me afraid for humanity is the spider goat, the females of which are able to “secrete milk through their udders that contains a silk more durable than Kevlar, more stretchable than nylon, and stronger than steel”. (more…)
Monthly archive for March 2010
It never ceases to both amaze and amuse me how excited Canadians are to greet the first tentative appearance of spring by casting off their parkas, stowing their sock monkey hats in the darkest depths of the closet, and standing shivering but determined in front of their BBQs. The whole thing is even more pronounced when the first nice week of the year happens to coincide nicely with March Break, and the end result is the ability to drive down the street in 7-degree weather and see small crowds of teenage girls wearing shorts and flip-flops, proving themselves to be tragically bereft of either a thermometer or a pair of pants. (more…)
My questionable taste in music has probably been documented here before, but I stand before you today to confess that in addition to my deep and abiding love for Billy Joel, I also harbour a not-so-secret musical crush on Garth Brooks. His Christmas album has recently been voted Most Likely To Put Me In The Festive Spirit and a number of his songs have pride of place on the List Of Songs I Listen To Loudly In The Car And Sing Along To Even If The Windows Are Down (And Sometimes ESPECIALLY If The Windows Are Down). (more…)
I don’t know if it’s the sun, which is not only making more frequent appearances, but also seems to actually emit some honest-to-goodness warmth if it hits you in the right spot in the right way, or the exciting changes and opportunities going on in the lives of people all around me as they buy houses and take trips and anticipate the arrival of babies, or some other as-of-yet undiscovered but equally potent and influential factor, but I’m feeling adventurous, which is something I never feel, and a longing for the sensation of sand or cobblestones or grass under my feet, which is something I often yearn for but rarely picture quite so vividly, brown and grey and green, hot and hard and warm, familiar yet deliciously, tantalizingly, seductively exotic.
I woke up early this morning from a dream in which I was being forced to walk home from my first day of law school in bare feet in the middle of January. Law school was at my high school and I was walking to my parents’ house (a 40+ minute walk away) and it was dark and the sidewalks were icy. I had worn boots and socks TO school, but I had left them in my locker, and I didn’t want to go back because I had overheard the dean of the law school (played by Rene Auberjonois in my dream) make a bit speech to one of the other professors (played by an awful boss I had earlier in my real-life career) about how all first year law school students are sissies, and I didn’t want him to think I was a sissy.
The most upsetting part of the dream was not, however, the cold walk home, but rather how all of the professors spent most of each class fawning over one of my fellow students, a young man who confessed in the first hour that he was only in law school to learn enough to eventually become a well-respected and powerful judge and systematically take away the rights of women and other minorities. I’m not entirely sure why all of the professors were so excited to have him in their classes, but I expect it might have something to do with the fact that, if nothing else, he was demonstrating a rather impressive amount of commitment to the success of what can only be described as a long-range plan.