I had a dentist appointment this week, and even though it was on Zach’s birthday and that is a perfectly valid reason to cancel, I felt like I really HAD to go, because it had already been rescheduled thrice and the last time, when I left a message the evening before to cancel, I promised I would absolutely definitely for sure come to whenever they rescheduled me for, and I am nothing if not someone who keeps their promises to dental office voicemail systems. And then of course I have two (2) separate teeth that have cracks in them due to my grinding/clenching problem (which can’t really be alleviated by a mouth guard because I also have a panicking/suffocating problem when things like that are in my mouth) and a molar that is more filling than tooth at this point and will require a crown before it completely disintegrates in my mouth. (My teeth! They look lovely but they are made of dust and tears and swiss cheese.)
As I was paying for this appointment and scheduling all of my various future appointments, the receptionist (who I think must be new, as I am there all the time and have never seen her before) said, “Okay, so for your next cleaning, it says here five months?” I said, “Well, can we make it for four months? I always panic and reschedule at least once before I come in, and that buys me some time so I don’t end up too behind on my cleanings.” She said, “Of course! So that would be the beginning of January. I have a Tuesday morning available?” And I said, “Hmm, no, I can’t do Tuesdays.” And she said, “What about a Thursday at noon?” And I said, “I can’t do Thursdays either. How about a Monday?” It was only after, as I was driving home, that I realized that she participated willingly and enthusiastically in the elaborate charade of trying to find a good time for an appointment I had already said I definitely wasn’t going to keep. Someone give that woman a raise.