Have you ever noticed how winter is terrible? It’s just the worst. We got a bit of a reprieve this year, since winter didn’t really even start until January, but I have already had enough. I have had it up to HERE, where “here” is my windburned face, arranged in an unattractive grimace. At first I thought I might finally learn to love (or at least tolerate) winter, because Zach’s level of enthusiasm for winter was the same as his level of enthusiasm for just about everything else (i.e. high) and really, CAN one continue to hate winter when accompanied by a two-year-old who exclaims things like, “A ball! Of snow! It’s so WONDERFUL!” The answer is yes, yes one can, and as of yesterday Zach is now on Team Winter Haters. The wind was so cold when we walked over to get Ellie after school yesterday that he sobbed himself into an asthma attack and then coughed so much he barfed. (“Guided by sheer will and the love of his family, Glass must navigate a vicious winter in a relentless pursuit to live and find redemption.” <=== Plot summary of The Revenant, or a description of our daily 5-minute walk to and from school?)
I bought a hair straightener online and the product is wonderful (you just run it through your hair like a brush! it is super convenient because that’s pretty much the limit of the amount of time/effort I’m willing to commit to having nice hair) but even more wonderful is the set of poorly-translated instructions it came with:
- Please don’t put too much hair, if put more, in the control process it will slow down the speed, the effect is obvious.
- Fast Hair Straightener use a different direction, for personal use, with the personal habits.
- Do not self-transformation, demolition, repair the product.
- This product cannot be put into the fire or external heating.
- Do not wet or in the bathroom, wet water area places.
On the way to school this morning, Ellie asked me why boys don’t wear dresses. I told her they certainly could, if they wanted to, and that some do. She asked why most don’t (this was very confusing for her, because in her mind, dresses = awesome, so who would choose NOT to wear a dress if it really was a valid choice) so I told her, “Well, it’s a whole thing called ‘toxic masculinity’ and it’s because of something called ‘the patriarchy’ …” and she said that Zach looks really pretty when they play dress-up in her princess clothes, and I agreed, and once again I was reminded that when you’re four, complicated topics really aren’t that complicated. You smash that patriarchy, kiddo.