Cottage life

You people are clearly my people! Fireworks haters! Toddler-talk lovers! Gather round, I would like to hug you. You might be pleased, as I am, to know that although the days of hilarious pronunciations are drawing slowly to a close, we have apparently entered the Kids Say the Darnedest Things stage. On our last trip to the library, the children’s librarian (whose name is Robin but who, Ellie regularly reminds me, is not a “robin birdie”) bid Ellie farewell with that old chestnut “see you later, alligator!” and as we walked away, I heard her mutter under her breath, “I’m not an ALLIGATOR. I’m ELLIE.”

We spent last week at a cottage up in the Muskokas, and it was quite a lovely time. A large part of the loveliness came simply from having another parent around for the whole week, and it was so restful for me (I read two books! and swam in the lake! and we went to the beach twice!) I have subsquently hatched a plan to hire a nanny. I just need to figure out some sort of scheme to get rich quickly in order to fund this initiative. Perhaps insider trading? Are any of you executives with publicly traded companies, and would be willing to trade secrets for cookies? Maybe I will have to invent something, although I have been told that my one good idea (nanoparticles that will clean your teeth so well you’ll never have to go to the dentist) (patent pending!) isn’t a) possible, and b) marketable, even though I’ve done the hardest part, which is think of the idea and come up with a clever name (“NanoDent Dental Bots”). Alas! I suppose I won’t quit my day job just yet. But I am already fantasizing about next year’s cottage vacation. There’s just something about being on the water that is incredibly soul-soothing, isn’t there?

You might recall (not that I would expect you to) that we have had some issues with a neighbour over the past couple of summers, specifically Loudness Issues resulting from the man of the house hanging out with his buddies in the garage, playing loud music and generally being disruptive to my beloved sleep until the wee hours of the morning. Throughout the spring they were suspiciously quiet, and I wondered if maybe they’d had an attack of Sudden Onset Neighbourliness, or maybe it had finally occurred to them they have both a back yard and a basement in which hanging out would be theoretically possible. Then one day Mike came back from a bike ride with Ellie and reported he had spotted a stroller in their garage, and then another day he reported he spotted an actual baby in their garage, and anyway: mystery solved! Congratulations on the baby, sir! I will try not to accidentally drive by your house at 5:00 in the morning with my windows down and stereo blasting.