THREE

When Zach woke up this morning, I was having a terrible nightmare about a drug kingpin who was holding me hostage while I ghostwrote his memoirs. It was both absurd and terrifying. Also apparently my subconscious seriously overestimates my memoir-writing abilities. Dream Lauren is in high demand! I turn down projects so decisively and so often that the only way to get me to work on yours is to kidnap me and force me to type at gunpoint!

Ellie turned three yesterday. Can you even believe it? She was quite pleased to be three (as one ought to be) and was very excited, on her birthday eve, about the prospect of wearing her new birthday shirt to her sitter’s, although the next morning she was extremely distraught over not being able to wear her pink heart shirt instead, and sobbed most of the way through breakfast about it. (Our new mantra lately has been “mornings are hard” — I think we all need a little reminder every now and then that mornings are indeed hard, although I probably shouldn’t need that reminder as often because quite frankly I too am terrible at mornings. Within the last week I have also cried during breakfast.) Anyway, Mike wrestled her into her three shirt, and her sitter reported at the end of the day that she couldn’t get her to keep her hoodie on over top of it because she was so very proud of her shirt and wanted to show it off to everyone. The same shirt she was, just that morning, positively flattened with despair over the prospect of wearing. I think being three is also quite hard, sometimes.

Like most kids her age, she is really taken with the movie Frozen, which features a pair of sisters. She has become newly fixated with Zach, who she still calls “Baby Zach” seven months after his arrival on the scene (we do too, so it is possible he might assume that is his proper name, and we may have to register him for kindergarten under that alias) and who she always refers to as her sister. Where is my sister, is my sister still sleeping, Mommy please put my sister down and do puzzles with me, etc. I’ve been working with her on the difference between sister and brother (“Uncle Darren is Mommy’s …?” “Brother!” “And NeNe is Mommy’s …?” “Sister!” “And Auntie Kristen is Daddy’s …?” “Sister!”) and she seems to grasp the overall concept, but still refers to Zach as her sister. I explained that “brother” is a word we use for boys, and “sister” is a word we use for girls, and she nodded in agreement, and proceeded to call Zach her sister, at which point a lightbulb appeared over my head and I said, “Ellie, is Baby Zach a girl or a boy?” Baby Zach, she responded, was definitely a girl. So I suppose that explains some of her confusion.