I think I’ve mentioned here before that I’ve had some problems with my eyes since having Ellie. I spent a lot of time in optometrists offices during the summer and fall (time I didn’t really have, since I had to arrange childcare during the day, and time I really didn’t want to spend doing that, because if you’re going to have childcare during the day, who wants to spend it at the optometrist) and they couldn’t really figure out how to solve the problem, because they weren’t really sure what the problem was. However, I discovered that there is an optometrist in our tiny little town, so I booked an appointment last week, she checked me out, diagnosed me with having been misdiagnosed by the floppity-jillion other docs I’d seen, and sent me on my merry way with permission to wear my contact lenses again and a new, improved, better-fitting pair of lenses to try. Which happily has gone off without a hitch (I’m only wearing them a few hours a day, but it is nice to wear them while doing things like working out, since I don’t continually have to push them up my sweaty nose) until this morning. The soaking/cleaning solution I’ve been using (based on a recommendation from the optometrist) is made with hydrogen peroxide. You pour it into the special holder, it foams away and the foam somehow cleans your lenses overnight. I went to put my lenses in before working out, noticed something on one of them, grabbed the solution out of habit, rubbed the lens a bit in my hand, put it directly into my eye … and then spent the next minute shrieking and clawing at my eye. It is not easy to get a lens out of your eye when you are panicking and in pain.

APPARENTLY you shouldn’t put hydrogen peroxide directly into your eye. So, you know, FYI. Because they don’t put that on the box. 

Speaking of pain, I decided for a variety of reasons (the gym being 25 minutes away, Ellie having a terrible cold for most of January, the lines at the gym, the other things I’d rather spend my time doing) to figure out a way to work out at home on occasion. I picked up a used copy of the notoriously difficult 30 Day Shred. It is only 25 minutes, so that gives me enough time to do the workout, lay on the floor for a while praying not to die, and crawl to the shower before Ellie wakes up from her nap. I did it for the first time on Friday and it was difficult, but not impossible. I felt smug and triumphant. I would be shredded! In as few as 30 days! I wasn’t sure if that was something I wanted, but the DVD case promised it, so I figured it couldn’t be as unpleasant as it sounded, and lo I decided I would give this delightful little non-impossible workout a try.

The impossible part was getting out of bed the next morning. I had expected my arms to be really sore — they’re typically the weakest part of my body — but I guess I had forgotten that I lug around a 15-pound baby in one arm all day long, so a 2-pound hand weight wasn’t going to do much damage. The problem was my quads, which screamed in pain with every step, especially steps that were up or down in direction. I had a raging case of the DOMS, which apparently only gets worse if you sit, and also is worse if you walk or lay down or try to play with a baby or make dinner or ask someone to please get you a diet coke while they’re up. It was so much more painful the day after, but it was quite a bit better this morning, so I did what any sane person would do, and I did it again.

In conclusion: everything hurts. Please send cookies and an eyepatch.