I had kind of a frustrating morning, trying to get the baby and I out of the house to the gym, which is 25 minutes away and which I had a difficult enough time convincing myself to go to even when it was only FIVE minutes away, and as a result of the morning hassles I decided I would have a slightly shorter workout than usual and then a slightly longer shower, but my relaxing post-workout shower was ruined by having to spend it listening to 3 women loudly discuss their weight (exactly how many Christmas cookies they can have before they gain 5 pounds, how long it took them to lose the 5 pounds from last year, etc.) and the weight of their various friends (one of them went to a Leafs game the other night and her friend ate 2 pieces of pizza AND drank a beer and this particular friend gains weight quickly, so what was she THINKING) and there was no sharp object to poke myself in the eye with because I was trapped in the SHOWER, so I just stood there under the water wishing they would talk about their haircuts or their kids or their plans for Christmas or JUST ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE OTHER THAN WHAT THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT.

And all of this reminded me that it is only two weeks until the Seemingly Endless Yearly Cavalcade of Annoying Weight Loss Commercials begins, and I just can’t help but feel that while I agree weight is something we should be concerned about and conscious of, as a species, and while there are many food- and health-related topics that can be discussed in a fun/interesting/productive manner, I am just so very weary of discussing it/hearing it discussed in this particular manner, and I think we’d all be a lot happier if we decided that the following topics should probably be off-limits at all times:
  1. exact calculations of how many cookies a person can eat before they immediately gain 5 pounds, and subsequent discussions of how this compares to how many cookies someone ELSE can eat before they immediately gain 5 pounds, and smug/self-deprecating proclamations of being “blessed” with a fast metabolism or “cursed” with an insatiable sweet tooth
  2. descriptions of what someone ELSE ate, in a judgemental tone, because come on, it was just one hockey game, not every meal they prepared and sat down to for the past six years
  3. advertisements suggesting with a straight face that you should eat bland, air-filled cereal for 66% of your daily meals, as though that will help you solve the life-long problems caused by 1) and 2)
Exercise is good. Eating healthy is good. Christmas cookies are good. I just would prefer, honestly, if we could talk about something other than Cookies: How Many I Ate, and How Many You Should Eat.