Because I know you come here to read my wildly fascinating thoughts on one of three topics (the baby, the dentist, and insects) I will give you a little bit of each of those things today. (You’re welcome.)

The Baby

In addition to rolling over, she has recently learned how to blow raspberries. She thinks this is hilarious, we think this is hilarious, and lo there is much hilarity in our house. We are taking her to Camp Hermosa for the first time starting on Saturday. Mike is the only one with any real volunteer responsibilities, and he keeps reminding me that I can always take her home if things don’t go according to plan, but I refuse to entertain this idea simply because if she doesn’t like Hermosa, we will have to trade her in for a different baby.

The Dentist

I was supposed to have a dentist appointment last week — I was due for a cleaning, and I had to have a filling replaced, and it was the filling that was put in during the Worst Dentist Appointment (Ever) (For Real, It Doesn’t Get Much Worse Than This) so the fact that I have to have it replaced is a real kick in the pants — and not only was it a double appointment, it was in the middle of the day, which meant it would ruin the ENTIRE day, due to the morning fretting and the afternoon de-freezing and also showering to remove the dentist smell from my hair. BUT THEN. The nice receptionist called two days before my appointment to tell me that Leah, my beloved singing hygienist, was going to be away the day of my appointment, and would I like to reschedule? WHY YES I WOULD. I now have to go back the second week of September, but it’s also the day of Ellie’s 4-month vaccinations, so the whole day is ruined anyway, and besides, that sounds like a problem for Future Lauren.


I discovered this morning that there is an alarming number of spiders and spiderwebs around our house. The spiders themselves are also alarming due to their size and/or fanciness (Me, on the phone to Mike earlier: “They’re STRIPEY! That means they’re POISONOUS!” Mike: “Does it mean that really? “Me: “Well, it WOULD, if we lived somewhere that had poisonous spiders.”) and the sheer number of them is making me worry a little bit that I’m living out the first act of a horror movie, where the wife mentions distractedly to her husband, “Hmmm, there are a lot of spiders out here. Weird!” and then goes on to discuss who is going to pick little Suzie up from ballet that afternoon. Cut two the first five minutes of Act Two, where I’m being engulfed by a tsunami of spiders, while my husband and Suzie look on in horror.