Pleasant side effects of having a baby:

  • For some reason, I feel less silly talking to Ellie than I do when I talk to the pets. Possibly because she often smiles in agreement when I pass judgment on the wardrobes of Food Network show hosts. (Why the yoga capris, Matt Dunnigan? WHY?!)
  • People say Ellie looks like me. People also say she is very cute. By way of transitive property, me = very cute.
  • There is always someone available to snuggle on a moment’s notice. Especially lovely when that someone is wearing footie pajamas.

Not entirely unpleasant side effects of having a baby that still require some adjustment on my part:

  • Hot beverages now require a minimum of four microwave warm-ups before I can get through the whole thing.
  • When she is being held, Ellie has a very strong preference for the left side of my body. Lopsided biceps seem to be an inevitability at this point.
  • Due to needing to get the giant stroller out of the back of our car and/or lug heavy a carseat around with lopsided biceps, have been forced to transition parking strategy from Park Crookedly In A Pull-Through Spot As Far Away As Possible From Destination to the flawed and newly implemented Park Crookedly Near Other Cars, Back Up To Straighten Out, Discover Car Is MORE Crooked Than Before, Back Up To Straighten Out, Check For Straightness, Mutter Under Breath.