Before Ellie arrived, I think I was aware (at least on some level) that the only thing predictable about this whole parenthood thing would be the complete and total inability to predict any aspect of it from one moment to the next. I don’t think I ever could have realized, though, just how dizzying the highs would be, how terrifying the lows would be, and how the whole process would be completely devoid of creamy middles. It’s like a rollercoaster. Or rather, it’s like how I THINK a rollercoaster would be, because I hate any sort of ride that reaches speeds any faster than I can achieve on my bicycle, and on the rare occasions I have visited an amusement park in the past, I have wiled away the hours eating funnel cake, holding purses, and wishing I wasn’t such a chicken.

By way of example, yesterday went kind of like this:

  • Doctor’s appointment first thing in the morning regarding my persisting pregnancy-induced hypertension (bad)
  • Wonderful friend comes with me to help wrangle the baby while they run a blood pressure test every 3 minutes for half an hour (good)
  • Blood pressure issues seem to be resolved (good)
  • Have to go back on Friday for another re-check (bad)
  • Take lovely walk in hot weather with baby wearing cute little shorts (good, with extra points allotted for chubby thighs)
  • Baby who sleeps beautifully in her crib at night becomes apoplectic with rage upon being placed there for a nap (bad, also confusing)
  • Baby sleeps fitfully in cradle as long as it is in constant motion, allowing me to clean up the kitchen (good)
  • Realize that I am all caught up on laundry for the first time since baby was born (good)
  • Mike comes home briefly for dinner before baseball (good)
  • Baby is crabby (bad)
  • Put crabby baby in sleepy wrap and make baked oatmeal and finish cleaning up the house (good)
  • Baby is still crabby (bad)
  • Discover that baby makes funny face when raspberries are blown in her direction (good, also hilarious)
  • Baby chooses Mike’s baseball night to be especially difficult to put to bed (bad)
  • Baby sleeps for 4 hours (good)
  • After first nighttime feeding, baby goes back to sleep easily but wakes up at 5:00 a.m. (bad)
  • Baby goes back to sleep for another 2 hours (good)

I don’t really have anything particularly insightful to say about this whole thing, except that it was very wise for babies to choose to evolve into such adorable, squishy, warm little creatures. Just when you think you want to trade it all in for some funnel cake (which would be easier and more delicious and less likely to barf on you) you get a big toothless grin for no reason at all. And so it goes, up and down, all day long, day after day.