I have a secret confession to make: if there was any scenario in which it would make sense for me to do so, I would seriously consider packing it all in to become a famous archaeologist. The idea of hunting for glittering reservoirs of long-lost treasure fills me with such excitement I don’t even know how to explain it. I have watched the movie National Treasure more times than any one person should really watch such a terrible movie (and it really IS terrible, but it stars Nicolas Cage, who is at the top of my Celebrity Free Pass List, for reasons I don’t understand and can’t explain) (or at least he WAS at the top of that list, until he got arrested last week for domestic violence) (but I’m too heartbroken to really comment on that at this point) and every time they unearth the treasure (spoiler alert!) I actually get goosebumps.
When I heard a rumour a month ago that maybe some archaeologists had found Atlantis, I was all a-twitter with excitement. Atlantis! Discovered! After all this time! It was almost too much to bear. And they were airing a show on the Discovery Channel, complete with stuffy talking heads and computer-generated simulations! Only I had to wait an additional two weeks for it to air in Canada (darn Americans, with their timely television specials and over-abundance of Cheerios flavours) but then it DID air, and it was exciting! Mike was so bored he fell asleep, but ever since then I have been harbouring secret fantasies of becoming a Famous Archaeologist Slash Treasure Hunter, and those fantasies are very satisfying indeed, in spite of the fact that I am aware that I have three significant hurdles to overcome, were I ever to become truly serious about making this happen:
- I do not have the sort of upper arms that look really good in tank tops.
- I have an English degree and a poor grasp of world geography, not to mention a total lack of experience in this field, which might make it difficult to receive adequate funding from a university or the government.
- I am about to have a baby. I can’t say for certain, but I expect babies are not generally welcome at dig sites, due to the liability issues of having them crawling around large holes, not to mention their propensity for putting priceless artifacts in their mouths.
Difficult, but not insurmountable, amirite? Who am I to let a lack of personal trainer, PhD, and nanny stand in the way of my (completely unrealistic, tremendously influenced by inaccurate depictions in popular culture) dreams?