Monthly archive for October 2010

A licker problem

Our dog, Daisy, is in many ways a very odd sort of dog.  She is a labradoodle, but one that was the product of the union between a full-sized labrador retriever and a miniature poodle, so rather than a majestic, curly-furred creature, she is a medium-sized, slightly dishevelled-looking dog with hairy hobbit feet and a beard.  She doesn’t like car rides and rarely shows any interest in food dropped on the floor.  More than anything, she likes to lick.  She will lick your hands, your face, and given half a chance, the inside of your ears.   She will lick them incessantly until you tell her to stop and physically remove her to a distance of no fewer than 6 feet from the body part she was licking.  She will occasionally give you a slurp on her way past so stealthy you don’t realize it’s happening until it’s too late, and she has been known to lick inanimate objects, like the coffee table, for no apparent reason.  When she was a puppy, she managed one night while in her crate to somehow actually LICK a HOLE in the WALL.  (more…)

Peer pressure

In the early days of our marriage, Mike was prone to stroking his face and saying aggravatingly, “Maybe I should grow a BEARD.”  Conversely, I was known to say, “No, you are NOT growing a beard.  It will be scratchy and weird and it is NOT HAPPENING.”  Then he was off for a week to study for an exam a few years ago, and he stopped shaving (whether out of stress/laziness of as part of some sort of diabolical beard-growing plan, I’m still not sure) and he grew some sort of playoff beard that has just sort of been a part of his face ever since.  And I’m a little embarrassed to admit it, but I LIKE it.  I like it enough that now that he is threatening to shave it all off for Movember, I am feeling a little bereft, and also unsupportive.  (more…)

Buying it now

I am really, really bad at buying things that are rare for some reason and putting off using them to the point where they’re no longer usable and/or I no longer even WANT to use them.  There is a box of available-in-the-US-only Cheerios sitting on top of our fridge, stale and way past their best before date, that can attest to this fact.  (Or they could, if they could talk, but talking cereal is an entirely different sort of issue, and one I’d prefer not to discuss now, in the interest of time and also I really don’t want to contemplate the idea of conversational foodstuffs.)  I think the primary issue is not that I don’t want to use the product, but rather that I don’t want to deal with the inevitable heartbreak of using the very last drops/crumbs/whatever and having no opportunity to replenish, at least not within a reasonable  time frame.  Instead I just let the products languish in our house, and I get no enjoyment out of them whatsoever, except the satisfaction of procuring them in the first place, and it makes no sense at all and I can’t explain it except to say I am a complex tapestry of emotions, especially when it comes to cereal and/or the elusive Diet Snapple Peach Iced Tea.  (more…)

Inspired by a terrifying true story

Our house seems to be widely considered a spider haven, in spite of the fact that I have tried very hard to make sure they all know they are not welcome here.  I mostly do this by hurling heavy books on top of them and then leaving the carcasses wherever they are as a warning to all future spiders (or until Mike gets home or the cats eat it) and while it seems to me like a very good Spider Management System, for some reason it doesn’t work and it is definitely not working now.  (more…)