Mike and I like to watch a show called Numb3rs. Yes, there really is a 3 instead of an e, and yes, I felt like an idiot typing that, but what are you going to do. Anyway, the basic premise of the show is that the nerdy sidekick from 10 Things I Hate About You helps the FBI solve crimes in really improbable ways that are entertaining if not entirely believable, and often involve long explanations of complicated mathematical concepts using painful analogies to snakes and/or sprinklers and/or prisoners on death row who are being hanged AS A SURPRISE. (Yeah, I know. Apparently these things all had something to do with math. I tend to spend a lot of time playing Angry Birds on my iPhone while this show is on.) Mike likes it because of all the math, and I like it because of the FBI agents and also it allows me to engage in my TV-watching hobby of guessing in a creepily accurate fashion exactly who committed the crime before the first commercial break. (See also: Castle. Entertaining but predictable.)
Numb3rs (I almost couldn’t do it — seriously, the letter e exists for a reason, people) was cancelled a year or two ago, which is fine with us because as of a few months ago we were still a couple of seasons behind. The summer is a good time to catch up on shows you’re behind on, which is what we’ve been doing gradually over the spring and at this point we’re about halfway through the last season. The last season is a little odd, and it seems like they knew ahead of time they were going to be cancelled and just said “to heck with normal camera shots, we’re going to do a little something we like to call GUN CAM!” and “I’m not sure exactly how, but I don’t see why we couldn’t work in a heavyhanded reference to Survivor at some point in this episode” and “I keep hearing the baristas at Starbucks talk about this Twitter thing — maybe we should try to work it awkwardly into the show somehow?”
All of this is a rather indirect way of getting to my actual POINT, which is the fact that there is a character on the show named Ian Edgerton. Ian Edgerton is a very successful, very enigmatic FBI sniper slash fugitive hunter. Ian Edgerton is played by Lou Diamond Phillips. I knew that name, but I wasn’t sure what else I’d seen him in, so I switched from Angry Birds to Wikipedia and after sifting through a lot of really uninteresting biographical information (including the fact that he was married to Kelly Preston, but not the same Kelly Preston who is now married to John Travolta) I was rewarded for my persistence with the fact that very soon Lou will be celebrating the release of his autobiography, which is called (and I swear I am not making this up) A Diamond Phillips In The Rough. I offer this to you for your enjoyment without further commentary, except to say that I really would have liked to be a fly on the wall in the brainstorming meeting where that title was deemed the best they could come up with.