I think I mentioned before that one of the things I accomplished (or “accomplished” since we’re talking about mixing liquids with solids and pouring them into a frozen cylinder here) on our 4-day weekend was making birthday cake ice cream. Our friends Chris and Pam were coming over for dinner on Canada Day since we discovered a while ago they hadn’t been to our place since they bought a giant t.v. (which may or may not have been at least a year and a half ago), but it was Canada Day and we couldn’t find the ingredients for lamb burgers so they ended up supplying most of dinner, which is rather embarrassing, but Pam likes birthday cake ice cream and I did have the foresight to buy the supplies for that, since I can be counted on for nothing if not to prioritize dessert over the rest of the meal.
Anyway, I forgot to print off the recipe and while standing in the dairy aisle at Price Chopper, Mike said he thought the recipe called for a little bit of cream and a lot of whole milk. That’s what we bought, but it turns out the recipe ACTUALLY called for a lot of cream and a little bit of whole milk, and since I am not regularly preparing bottles for a toddler or making lattes a la Starbucks circa 2005, I have had a giant red carton of useless milk in our fridge for several days now. This morning, two of the blogs I read every day mentioned something about rice pudding, and the idea lightbulb went on above my head with a little “PING!” sound like it does in cartoons because a) I love rice pudding, b) rice pudding recipes always call for whole milk, and c) I thought maybe I could freeze most of it to eat at a later date. The recipe I dug up called for whole grain rice, which we don’t have, but we did have arborio rice, and I thought to myself, “If arborio rice can make delicious, creamy risotto, SURELY it can make RICE PUDDING!” Then I read the recipe creator’s comment that changing the kind of rice will likely affect the quantities of liquid you need and that she couldn’t guarantee the recipe would turn out very well if it was messed with in any way, and like Icarus flying too close to the sun I did some quick pudding science in my brain and thought to myself, “Arborio rice is STICKIER and STARCHIER than regular rice, so if anything this rice pudding will be EVEN MORE AWESOME!”
I’m sure you can see where this is going. I have been getting up every five minutes for OVER AN HOUR to go stir the gelatinous mess bubbling away on our stovetop, and I’m not sure I’m any closer to anything resembling rice pudding than I was when the idea first occurred to me, except now every corner of our house smells strongly of hubris and burned milk.