A couple of days ago, I came across an article online that was so singularly horrifying I had to share it via Google Reader. I’ll link to it here, but the gist of the article (for those who can’t be bothered to click, since I really can’t blame you, who has time to actually CLICK things in this modern world) is that there are people out there, presumably mad scientists with stained lab coats and crazy hair, injecting the DNA of one animal into the DNA of another, giving us the animal equivalent of the plumcot, only twice as scary and at least three times more likely to kill you in your sleep. The article lists beefalos, wholphins, and zorses as a few examples, but the one that really made me afraid for humanity is the spider goat, the females of which are able to “secrete milk through their udders that contains a silk more durable than Kevlar, more stretchable than nylon, and stronger than steel”.
Last night before bed, Mike and I had the following conversation:
Mike: Did you actually READ the article linked to from your original article?
Me: Of course not. I was too bothered by the idea to click any further.
Mike: Because the article said it’s not like they’re a hybrid of a spider and a goat. There is only a teeny, tiny amount of spider DNA given to the goat. It’s PERFECTLY HARMLESS.
Is it just me, or does that sound like the first 5 minutes of a really horrifying movie? The remaining 115 minutes are all rampaging spider goats wearing bulletproof vests, people trapped in impenetrable webs, and mad scientists driving Jeeps really quickly while screaming tearfully “We didn’t know this could HAAAAAPPPPEEEENNNNNN!”