I just realized I haven’t blogged at all this week. I also haven’t done much of anything else that would be interesting enough to report on. I’m probably going to kick myself for this later, sending this thought out into the ether, because I know a lot of people think that the life of the freelancer is about the easiest one there is and I tell them it’s not true, but I think I’m going to say it anyway. Most of the time it isn’t true – there are peaks and valleys the same as everything else – but every once in a while one of the valleys comes at the right time and that’s okay.
The economy has made it so that work is pretty slow right now, and I’m trying to avoid getting all melodramatic about that, something that gets easier the nicer the weather gets. It’s easier to go a little crazy with panic and boredom when you’re trapped in your house by a wall of snow, but the other side of that coin is that it’s easier to keep a level head about these things when there are other ways to occupy your time, some of which can take place on the deck. Of course, I’d much prefer to be working, but there are worse ways to bide my time until the economy turns around than playing a little fetch with the dog.
There is an email that I’ve been composing in my head for a few months now, and I finally crawled out of bed in the wee hours of the morning a few days ago and got it out of my head and into my Drafts folder, where it has been sitting for several days. It was incredibly satisfying to write, but I’ve spent the better part of the week trying to convince myself that if it’s the sort of email I’m not sure if I should send, it would be better off remaining unsent. I made a mistake, and I was burned, and I’ve been replaying it in my head ever since, but I’d probably regret sending that email more than making the mistake in the first place, right? (Please tell me I’m right.) Now, with all the vitriol I felt about the situation lingering quietly in that folder, I think I finally understand the concept of closure, and maybe that knowledge is enough to make the whole situation worthwhile.