Lauren | 
January 26th, 2012 | 
I’m having the sort of week where I want to lay about in my pajamas and indulge in pleasant fantasies about tropical vacations, so in lieu of a real blog post, here are some updates on things you likely haven’t thought of since you closed your browser window after first reading about them, if in fact you paid attention long enough to read the whole blog post in the first place (some of you are SKIMMERS, I can tell by my web stats, don’t think I don’t notice! I slave away all day over a hot blog post, and this is the thanks I get! no, no, it’s fine, I get it, you’re busy people with busy lives) (you can feel free to skim this one if you want, since it’s basically just a clips show hastily assembled during the last few minutes of Ellie’s nap): Read the rest of this entry »
I think I’ve mentioned here before that I’ve had some problems with my eyes since having Ellie. I spent a lot of time in optometrists offices during the summer and fall (time I didn’t really have, since I had to arrange childcare during the day, and time I really didn’t want to spend doing that, because if you’re going to have childcare during the day, who wants to spend it at the optometrist) and they couldn’t really figure out how to solve the problem, because they weren’t really sure what the problem was. However, I discovered that there is an optometrist in our tiny little town, so I booked an appointment last week, she checked me out, diagnosed me with having been misdiagnosed by the floppity-jillion other docs I’d seen, and sent me on my merry way with permission to wear my contact lenses again and a new, improved, better-fitting pair of lenses to try. Which happily has gone off without a hitch (I’m only wearing them a few hours a day, but it is nice to wear them while doing things like working out, since I don’t continually have to push them up my sweaty nose) until this morning. The soaking/cleaning solution I’ve been using (based on a recommendation from the optometrist) is made with hydrogen peroxide. You pour it into the special holder, it foams away and the foam somehow cleans your lenses overnight. I went to put my lenses in before working out, noticed something on one of them, grabbed the solution out of habit, rubbed the lens a bit in my hand, put it directly into my eye … and then spent the next minute shrieking and clawing at my eye. It is not easy to get a lens out of your eye when you are panicking and in pain.
APPARENTLY you shouldn’t put hydrogen peroxide directly into your eye. So, you know, FYI. Because they don’t put that on the box. Read the rest of this entry »
2011 was a pretty fantastic year, on just about every front. Mike passed his final actuarial exam, Ellie arrived, and we bought a new house. I think it’s pretty clear that 2012 isn’t likely to be nearly as awesome (although, as my sister-in-law commented, it isn’t too late to have another baby in 2012, to which both Mike and I say HAHAHAHAHAHA) but Ellie slept in until 7:30 this morning and then I drank a large iced coffee, so it is off to a good start, at least, if only in terms of restedness and/or caffeination.
Anyway, I made some New Years Resolutions, because I love making lists and also throwing myself headlong into projects I will eventually abandon. They are as follows:
- Read more books. I’m ashamed to say that in 2011 I only read 5 books that weren’t about babies. If we add in the baby books, we’re still probably only looking at about 8 or 9. I … don’t even know why. Please don’t tell anyone, or they may come revoke my English degree. Actually, feel free to spread it around, because they give English degrees out like samples at Costco so I can probably get another one if I’m willing to brave the post-Christmas crowds.
- Put some change into the little change-collecting boxes at cash registers. You know the ones so kids can go to camp or diabetes can be cured? Those ones. Every time. This might prove to be a bit of a challenge, because I don’t often carry cash with me, and when I do I tend to spend it on iced coffee.
- Wear more hats.
- Submit to being photographed more often, and then try not to make a big fuss when I don’t like the photo. (Related: learn to accept the fact that I have a double chin. I am an Anderson; it is pretty much an inevitability. In fact, Ellie is already working on hers. She is apparently a Butler in name only.)
- You know when someone on the internet makes a deliberately vague reference to something that you know is going to be unsettling/gross/spidery and there’s a link and you click that link even though you know you shouldn’t click it and then you wonder why you clicked it? I’m going to stop clicking those links.
- If I have time left over, I’m also going to try to make some more madly misshapen curtains with my sewing machine. And say thank you more often and to more people, because people like to be thanked. At least, I do, so I assume it’s pretty universal.
Anyway, thanks for hanging out here last year. My site stats say I have many more readers than I can account for simply by listing my family and close personal friends. They’re required by law to read whatever I post here, but you’re not, and even though I don’t have any idea who you are, I think you’re pretty awesome.
At press time, it is December 29, and this means the countdown is on for two very important dates: December 31, when Mike and I go to bed at 9:30 and hope the new year gets rung in somehow without us, and January 2, when the annual influx of eager new members begins at the gym. (Perhaps your gym is open on January 1, but mine does not open again until January 2. At least, I think that’s true. We’re going to assume that it’s true, because a day that the gym is closed is a day you don’t have to feel guilty for not exercising, because it’s not even an option. Assuming you don’t want to go for a run OUTSIDE, which of course you don’t, because this is Canada and it is January.) I have nothing AGAINST the resolutioners (it would be pretty ridiculous of me to begrudge people an activity that I myself participate in regularly) but I am not a patient person and do not wait in line very well. I especially do not wait in line very well for activities in which I only participate reluctantly for my own health and well-being and as such don’t particularly enjoy. I mean, I don’t HATE the gym (my feelings pretty closely resemble this cartoon) but I’m kind of a wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am person when it comes to my workouts — get in, get out, and then take a really long shower while the baby is still in the gym daycare — and I hate waiting in line enough that I probably wouldn’t wait in line to eat cookie dough cheesecake while Colin Firth complimented me on my shiny hair and used the words “less” and “fewer” in their appropriate contexts, so the chances that I’d wait in line for an elliptical trainer are … well, they’re not good. Not good at all. Read the rest of this entry »
I had kind of a frustrating morning, trying to get the baby and I out of the house to the gym, which is 25 minutes away and which I had a difficult enough time convincing myself to go to even when it was only FIVE minutes away, and as a result of the morning hassles I decided I would have a slightly shorter workout than usual and then a slightly longer shower, but my relaxing post-workout shower was ruined by having to spend it listening to 3 women loudly discuss their weight (exactly how many Christmas cookies they can have before they gain 5 pounds, how long it took them to lose the 5 pounds from last year, etc.) and the weight of their various friends (one of them went to a Leafs game the other night and her friend ate 2 pieces of pizza AND drank a beer and this particular friend gains weight quickly, so what was she THINKING) and there was no sharp object to poke myself in the eye with because I was trapped in the SHOWER, so I just stood there under the water wishing they would talk about their haircuts or their kids or their plans for Christmas or JUST ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE OTHER THAN WHAT THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT. Read the rest of this entry »
When I was pregnant, I had an app on my phone put out by the What To Expect When You’re Expecting people. I discovered at some point toward the end that the app linked to their forums, and lo there was much rejoicing, because I spent a lot of time in the last few months sitting and/or moping, and those forums provided no shortage of entertainment. You see, there are the forums at large, and then there is your “home board”, where you can interact with other moms (or “mamas” as they tend to call each other) who are due the same month you are. I very quickly learned that women who spend a lot of time posting on pregnancy forums think that they are the first and only person to ever have experienced pregnancy before, and also tend to have very strong opinions, and tend to surround themselves (intentionally or unintentionally, I’m not sure) with a lot of drama. This combination of factors leads to a lot of posts that basically boil down to “I am the most uncomfortable pregnant lady there ever was, so I’m going to ask my doctor to induce me a month early, and my husband has never so much as washed a spoon or put a sock into the laundry but I somehow expect to be pleasantly surprised by an abrupt shift in behaviour and increase in maturity upon the arrival of our baby, and also all I got for my baby shower was BABY CLOTHES, not the organic bibs washed in angel tears that I specifically registered for, I mean seriously, what is wrong with people?” Read the rest of this entry »
Do you think a person can change from a Non Morning Person into one of those Morning People? It’s something I’ve been pondering lately, wondering if there’s some kind of training you can undergo that will magically transform you into someone for whom getting out of bed in the morning is an experience to embrace with vim and/or vigour, rather than someone for whom the first thought upon waking up in the morning is a calculation to determine the soonest opportunity one can to return to bed. Or is it something that’s hardcoded into your DNA, and trying to change it is an exercise in frustration with no useful payoff, like switching from left-handedness to right-handedness, or learning calculus? Read the rest of this entry »
My cousin Trish got married in July, and then promptly moved to Kuwait, for reasons that are unclear even to me, but which apparently have nothing to do with abandoning me and everything to do with finding a job over there that “pays well” and “is fulfilling” and “helps further her career” or some-such nonsense. Because they were more or less immediately picking up and moving halfway across the world, they didn’t want the usual toasters/mixers/trifle bowls/flatware/towels you tend to get as wedding gifts, and I had decided that rather than write them a cheque I would purchase a weddingy type gift (hint: not a trifle bowl) and mail it to them in Kuwait. I got to shop for fun consumer products! They got another wedding gift after the wedding gift excitement had already petered out! Plus they would get mail at work, which would make them the envy of their colleagues! Exclamation point! Read the rest of this entry »
Today is Babysitter Day, when our lovely babysitter comes for a few hours so I can get some work done (I guess that is pretty self explanatory, so I didn’t really need to elaborate, but you’re welcome for the explanation anyway) and I have 25 minutes left of babysitter time in which to post this, which shouldn’t be a problem, since the entire reason I am writing a blog post is so I can use Written Kitten, an adorable website that rewards you with a fresh kitten photo for every 100 words you type. That is the kind of thing that motivates me to blog even if I don’t have very much to say. If someone could create a similar website but with PENGUINS, I would probably actually get around to writing that book I keep talking about. Read the rest of this entry »
The baby is napping and I’m watching Restaurant Makeover through my fingers the same way I do with horror movies because the restaurant owners keep changing their minds about what they want and calling the designer and 4 in the morning and it is making me TOO TENSE.
Did you notice above where I said the baby is napping? Did you notice how I said it all casually, as though it’s not the biggest deal ever because it means I can stop feeling a little bit crazier every single day? All it took was doing something simple I could have easily done months ago when her nap aversion started and could therefore avoided this whole situation, but let’s not think about that.
The napping has put me in such a good mood the past few days that I have started listening to Christmas music a few weeks ahead of schedule. And it snowed for the first time this morning (Ellie was asleep in the car when it happened, so she missed it, but that is okay because it will happen MANY MORE TIMES between now and April) so all in all I am feeling extremely festive.